It was as if the air was sucked out of the room. It was my A-ha moment. I had a good idea what to expect. My best friend and sister-in-law both went into very graphic detail. And the both added, "but at that point you won't care". My husband's friend warned him, "It looks like a crime scene-seriously, CSI". Somehow I felt I would care. My doctor told me I would get to a point when I was so uncomfortable I wouldn't care about how he got out, I just wanted him out. I never got that uncomfortable.
My better half promised to stay above the belt, but I didn't trust that he would. He also vowed to be supportive and offer back rubs and other encouragement during labor when in reality, he fell asleep on the couch in the delivery room and I had to yell for him to wake up when I thought I would die without an epidural. Ah, the best laid plans.
In the end, I would end up needing a c-section. Even though he had agreed to the above the belt rule, he had the unfortunate experience of seeing my water broken (I was induced 9 days after my due date) and I am fairly sure he say my innards while they were sewing me up when he went to meet the baby.
Here are some tips for your first post-partum days.
- Dermoplast: Since I ended up needing a c-section, I didn't benefit from this advice but have been told by two friends Dermoplast
is a lifesaver. I bought 2 bottles in prep for labor. Basically, after a normal delivery it really burns (because of stitches) to pee. So spray the Dermoplast, then squirt warm water with a water bottle, and then spray again with the Dermoplast. The product numbs you. I bought it at Target and I included a link to get it at Amazon. I couldn't find at CVS or Walgreens.
- Ab binder: If you have a c-section and are in a lot of pain when coughing, sneezing, laughing, ask the nurse for an ab binder. It looks like an athlete's version of a girdle. It holds you in tight. They gave me one on my last day in the hospital, it felt good, but for no reason, I never wore it again. If you aren't given one, hold a pillow into your stomach when you have to cough/sneeze to help brace muscles. It takes about 6 weeks until that discomfort completely goes away when making those jarring movements but isn't so bad after a week.
- Boppy Pillow: My friend told me to take a Boppy Nursing Pillow . I did, but didn't use it. So I should say, bring it to the hospital and use it. It is really hard to figure out how to position the baby that is flailing desperately to find your boob. Also, realize they are supposed to latch on with a wide latch. I didn't know this and got so bruised the first two days, I wanted to cry the following 5 days while feeding. The Boppy Pillow
supports the baby so you can easily position him. For me, it was always a two person job (without the pillow), me and my husband, or me and a nurse. I started using the pillow at home and it was a huge help. Tip: Ask the nurse for gel pads, they are very soothing.
- Bottles: Sanitize all bottles before your due date. They sell bottles in 4oz and 8oz. You technically only need 8, but for the first month I used the 4 oz bottles. If you are short on cash, just get the 8 oz bottles. Assume you need about 6-8 feedings for a newborn. If you are strictly bottle feeding, you might want to buy 8 bottles so you can do cleanings just once or twice a day. As they get older, they eat more fewer times a day. At most I use 5 bottles a day now, most days 4.
- Swaddle Designs receiving blankets: I love these. They are very cute and nice material. They are much more expensive than Carter receiving blankets but the quality difference explains the price discrepancy. At the beginning we always swaddled him in these blankets. Within a week or two, he would kick out of a swaddle but we use these still for putting him on the ground, when he is laying on my bed while I am getting ready, to keep him warm in a stroller. They have a normal blanket material and muslin one. I use the muslin one when it is hot outside and I want him covered from sun and germs but want the material to be breathable. I have about 4 of each material, which seems like a lot, but spit up and pee happens, more than you'd like.
- Multi-use pads: I got a pack of multi-use pads at Buy Buy Baby. It is a water proof sheet. I have on the changing table and one in the Pack n Play. This has saved us many, many times, especially having a boy. Also, I have two kinds, one are fabric on both sides and the other has fabric on one side and plastic on the other. I don't like the plastic sided one and don't use them anymore.
- Bouncy Seat: This was the most used piece of baby gear his first three months. I have the Fisher Price Zen seat. I don't use the music or vibration modes (per advice in the sleep book I refer to as my bible), but it does have these features. I also use this when he is being calm and I need to get things done, because I can strap him in. He used to nap in the bouncy seat all the time. As he got older and could focus on toys, I would hang toys from the mobile attachment that comes with it. Now that he is 4 months, I feed him in the bouncy seat since my high chair doesn't have a reclining feature and he can't hold him self upright yet. By biggest tip is get a bouncy seat you think is attractive. 80% of the pictures taken of Evan his first couple months were in the seat because you can see his face as it normally looks, not distorted in a recumbent position. Mine has wood accents that match my house.
- Strollers: We have a nice, expensive stroller (the Uppa Baby) which is fantastic because it handles so well and corners tightly. It also has good shocks which is great because the sidewalks here are really uneven. It has a bassinet for newborns. It also has a sun shade to protect his face and most of his body. When he was about 3 months, he got too long for the bassinet. I put in the "toddler seat". The best part of this is that I can fit even more in the basket. I live in a city, so I often walk to a grocery store and I can get two shopping bags full of groceries in the stroller basket. If you don't live in a city or drive most places, I don't see the need for a high end stroller. I also have a snap n' go that my Graco Snug Ride car seat snaps into. I keep it in the trunk and it is good if I drive somewhere and don't want to deal with taking the big stroller. It doesn't however maneuver nearly as well as the Uppa Baby. I have since bought a third umbrella stroller. I am trying it out for the first time when I travel for Thanksgiving.
- Cloth diapers: I had bought a ton of cute ones from Swaddle Designs, but I used the cheap generic ones that I got in a ten pack from Buy Buy Baby frequently when he was first home for all sorts of things. Now that he eats less often and I have learned he has sensitive skin, I stopped using these.
- Baby detergent: I started off using Dreft for everything, but it is a waste of money. I bought a huge thing of the Costco free and clear detergent. Any fragrance and dye free detergent will work. Wash blankets, clothes, linens and anything you and your husband will wear in the hospital and the first couple of days home. I found out while in the hospital, they wash the baby clothes and blankets with the same harsh detergent used on regular patient laundry. Newborn baby's skin is blotchy anyway, but I had a reaction to the pillows so I can only imagine what it would do to him. Once I learned this, I used my own blanket from home when holding him. Another tip: Bring a cute blanket from home for use in the professional photos some hospitals offer.
- Formula: Speaking of Costco, the pediatrician told me to use the Kirkland (Costco brand) formula. It is made by Similiac and significantly cheaper. We have had no issues. He isn't too gassy, sleeps well, and has put on weight.
- Video Monitor: We got the Summer Infant Best View Handheld Video Monitor . I am so glad I didn't get just a sound monitor. It really comes in handy before you learn your baby's cues because sometimes in the middle of the night when I would put him down, he seemed fine. Then I would get back in bed and hear a little fussing. If I didn't have the monitor I would have gotten up to check him, which honestly is so hard when you are very tired. And this dance can go on and on for hours. Instead, I watched the monitor to determine if I needed to go to his crib. Plus sometimes I would see him flailing when he hadn't starting crying. I knew to get a bottle ready before he blew. Now I check the monitor when I wake up in the night. It also has lights on it that go from green to red. Red means crying. I use this feature when I am in the shower. I put the monitor on the counter and I watch the lights and determine if I need to cut the shower short.
- Big Sponge: For the first week or two, you can't submerge the baby in a bath because of the belly button or circumcision. You have to give a sponge bath to a slippery baby. They sell at Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby this oversized sponge that you can lay the baby on. They have one that looks like a frog and one that is tan. I got the tan one because it was bigger. Just makes the process easier. Now I use it after a bath. I have his hooded towel laid out on it and then put him in it to wrap him up.Since he can't stand, I can't just wrap him straight in the bath.
- Books: I have a lot of books for a kid starting to read, with one or two words on a page. But I found when Evan was very young and got fussy, he liked to hear the sound of my voice, so I read to him longer books. Here are some of my favorites:
- Bottle Drying Rack: Bottles don't dry in my dishwasher and also I don't want to wash bottles with soiled plates. So I hand wash everything and then put it on the drying rack. I bought a Dr. Brown's one, but I don't know if it matters what you use.
- Soothie Pacifiers: These are the only ones he seemed to like and kept in his mouth. I have heard this from other friends too. We make a conscious effort not to give him the pacifier when putting him in his crib to sleep for the night. I have heard from friends this kills you for 2 years because they cry every time it falls out and won't sleep well. I use it a lot when changing him and it is true, every time it falls out (happens several times a diaper change) he screams. Tip: strategically place the pacifiers around the house. 1 on the changing table, 1 in the crib, 1 in the pack n play or bassinet, 1 in stroller, 2 in diaper bag, 1 in car seat, 1 in family room and 2 clean ones ready to go.
- Footed PJs: I should have bought more of these. I have a ton of sleep sacks and sleep gowns. The sleep gowns make it easy to change him at night (I am awful at all the snaps on the footed outfits) but Evan is a squirmer and within two seconds his legs are out and I don't want him getting too cold. Since we stopped swaddling him, we put him in a footed pajama and then a Halo sleep sack on top.
- Gauze: If your son is being circumcised the doctor will tell you to dress the penis with Vaseline and gauze. The Vaseline should be in the tube not the jar and the gauze should be 3x3 squares. I bought all the supplies pre-baby so had no idea how much to buy. First off, gauze is kind of pricey. It is between $7.50 and $9.00 a box of 25. I started off with 2 boxes of 25. Well it wasn't nearly enough because he went through at least 10 diapers a day and you need to change the dressing with each diaper change. I think I ended up buying 5 boxes of 25 and 2 boxes of 10, so a total of 145. I did have to continue using it for 5 extra days because he had some extra bleeding. So assume you need 100. I also used 2.5 tubes of Vaseline.
- Pampers Thick and Sensitive Wipes: I thought wipes were wipes until we ran out. My husband went to CVS to get some more. I told him I wanted Pampers Thick and Sensitive, if they didn't have it, get Huggies thick and sensitive. He couldn't find these two words on either Pampers or Huggies, so he bought CVS wipes,neither thick nor sensitive. They were horrible. I would need 4 to clean up after a diaper, versus typically one with the Pampers. Plus I had to work hard to clean him with the CVS wipes.
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